Hold On
by nekoluver
Summary: Ed tries to kill himself but Winry stops him songfic of Hold On by Good Charlotte EdXWinry one shot Warning: Ed is VERY OOC! REWRITTEN


RE-WRITTEN

Okay this is my first songfic so if it sucks at least tell me what I can do to make it better. The song is "Hold On" by Good Charlotte. EdXWinry If you don't like this pairing, don't read it. Oh, Ed has his limbs back in this fic, and Al has his body back. Al is in central doing stuff for the military(he became a state alchemist shortly after getting his body back, much to Ed's disapproval.)

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, GC, or the song.

Warnings: Attempted suicide.

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"Ed!" Winry screamed as she pounded on the door with her fists. This couldn't be happening. "Ed! Please! Open the door!"

Ed sat on the other side of the door with a satisfied smile on his face. Crimson flowed from his wrists in dark rivers. It was all finally coming to an end; the pain, the hardship. Finally he was free. Everything started to go black and tears of joy streamed from his golden eyes.

_This world, this world is cold  
But you don't, you don't have to go  
You're feeling sad you're feeling lonely  
And no one seems to care  
Your mother's gone and your father hits you  
This pain you cannot bare_

_But we all bleed the same way as you do  
And we all have the same things to go thru _

Hold on...if you feel like letting go  
Hold on...it gets better than you know

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

FLASHBACK

For a second the two were blinded by the brightness of the transmutation. Ed had no idea if his plan would work, but he knew he had to try. It was for his little brother, after all... Finally the spots went from his eyes and he could see. There in front of him, lay a boy with brunette hair curled into a ball with his eyes closed. He was not clothed and every so often, Ed could see a shiver run through the boy's body.

"Al?" Ed asked uncertainly. The boy opened his eyes to reveal brown depths that were drowning in sadness Ed would never have thought possible in his little brother. Tears were soon streaming down the brunette's cheek.

Al curled himself into an even tighter ball. "I...I saw her Ed...I saw Mom...She was smiling...but...She hates you...I could see...pain...like I feel now...It hurts brother...It hurts so much..."

Ed reached out his right hand, barely noticing it had turned to flesh, to comfort his little brother, but as soon as his skin brushed the others, Al moved away as if he had been burned.

"Don't touch me!" he hissed. The look in his eyes was a combination of fear and...what was it? Ed wasn't sure, but whatever it was, he hated to see that look. He wanted it to go away...

"Al..."

"No! Don't talk to me! Leave me alone!" The boy got up, grabbed his brother's jacket, and stumbled from the room as quickly as he could.

"Al! Wait!" Ed chased after him, and soon caught him. Al fell to his knees in tears. "Al. What's wrong? Tell me."

"It hurts...It hurts..." Was all the ex-suit of armor kept chanting as he rocked back and forth. Ed picked him up, and eventually took him back to the Rockbell residence.

After a while, Al had returned to his cheery old self. Though he still couldn't bear to look at his older brother... No one knew why either... Soon he had joined the military. Ed tried to stop him, but his words seemed to be meaningless. Along with his warnings... Al had become a dog, and was hardly ever seen by his 'family' anymore. Ed had resigned his position as soon as the two were back to normal.

It didn't take long before Ed began to hate himself... He began to wonder what it would be like for everyone if he no longer existed in this world. He decided they wouldn't care. Not Al, or Winry, or Pinako...No one.

It started with a few cuts here and there, just to release the stress, but after a while that wasn't enough. It still built up. The sadness, the self-hate. He decided it was time to end it. No one would care.

He had already written his letter months ago. He placed it on the living room table, and wandered up to his room, and locked the door. He transmuted a chunk of metal into a long, razor-sharp blade. He had just put it against his wrist when he heard footsteps run up the stairs.

"Edward!" Winry shouted, pounding on the door. "Edward don't! Everything you and Al have done will have been for nothing! Everything you've gone through!"

"Goodbye Winry, tell Al I say to have a nice life," Ed said and slid the knife from his wrist, down his forearm, leaving a deep cut that bled almost immediately.

"Edward! EDWARD!" Winry pounded on the door, tears streaming down her face. "Please..."

Ed ignored her, and did the same to the other arm as he had to the first. After this, he dropped the knife, a happy smile on his face...

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ed opened his eyes slowly, but quickly shut them because of the bright light shining out of his refuge of sleep. Slowly and cautiously he opened his eyes again, and began to look around. He did not know where he was or how he had gotten there.

As his gaze wandered it met flourescent lights hanging on the ceiling. The room was mostly bare and the bed he lay on was flat like the kind found in hospitals.

"_I'm in the hospital?_" Ed asked himself. "_Why?_"

Suddenly his ears picked up shallow breathing to the right side of him. He quickly spun to face the sound with a fierce look in his eyes. When his eyes met the maker of the sound though, they widened in surprise. There was a blonde girl sleeping in one of the guest chairs with his red jacket draped over her. "Winry?" Ed asked uncertainly.

The girl's eyes slowly fluttered open. "Ed?" she asked quietly, then louder. "You're awake?"

Ed stared at the girl a moment. "What're you doing here?" "_What am _I _doing here?_"

"I...I was worried about you," she replied.

"Yeah right," Ed said without hesitation. She didn't care about him, no one did. Everyone who cared was gone... "Winry...Why am I in here?"

"You don't remember?"

"Well obviously I don't or else I wouldn't-" then suddenly he looked to the bandages covering his wrists, and it all came back to him. "Why did you stop me? I was finally escaping!"

"Escaping? You mean you were running away!"

"You don't understand! There was nothing left! There was nothing left to live for...Al hates me, Mom's dead. I don't even want to talk about that asshole that calls himself my father!"

_Your days you say they're way too long  
And your nights you can't sleep at all (hold on)  
And you're not sure what you're waiting for  
But you don't want to know more  
And you're not sure what you're waiting for but you don't want to know more _

Winry couldn't take it anymore. How could he be so blind? "How dare you?! How dare you say I don't understand?! I lost _both_ of my parents before I even got a chance to know them! Or had you forgotten? At least _you_ got to know your mom! And your Dad's still alive! If anyone doesn't understand it's you! You have no idea what it's like to always be wondering what they were like! And you think you can get out easy! I don't think so!"

_But we all bleed the same way as you do  
And we all have the same things to go through_

_Hold on...if you feel like letting go  
Hold on...it gets better than you know_

Ed stared at Winry in amazement. How long has she kept all this bottled up? Why hadn't she ever said anything? Did she hurt as much as him? "Winry..."

"Don't Ed," Winry said, not looking at the boy.

"Winry, I'm sor-," Ed started to say desperately, but was cut off.

"Yeah, whatever. Let's just get you checked out and back to Granny's."Winry said coldly, standing up.

"I can leave already?"

"Yeah," Winry said flatly.

" I just thought they would keep me longer..."

"You've been here for a little over a month."

"WHAT?!!"

Winry smiled to herself, then held out Ed's jacket to him. "Here's your jacket."

"Keep it," Ed said walking out the door. Oddly, this whole incident had made him feel significantly closer to the mechanic girl. 

Don't stop looking you're one step closer  
Don't stop searching it's not over...hold on

(Four weeks later Rockbell household)

Ed stared at Winry as she worked on some local guy's automail. Her brows were furrowed together in concentration. She had become Ed's favorite object of interest in the last four weeks he'd been staying with the Rockbell's. He walked over to her and tapped her on the shoulder, chuckling as she jumped. "Why don't you take a break?"

"I can't!" she said, exasperated. "Mr. Towi will be here to pick this up in two days!"

"Let's go for a walk," Ed said grabbing her wrist. "I insist."

"O-Okay," Winry replied uncertainly. Ed laughed and took her outside, then forced her to walk around. Finally they sat down, exhausted. It was blissfully silent for awhile until Ed spoke up.

"Winry?" he asked as he rested his head on his arms.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you stop me?" Ed asked looking at her.

"Stop you what?" Winry asked looking over at her companion.

"From killing myself."

"Why did you want to die so much?"

"I..." Ed looked away. "I just couldn't take it anymore. Everything just seemed like too much."

Winry grabbed Ed's hands and flipped them over so the scars on his wrists could be seen. She ran her fingertips softly across the swelled flesh. Ed felt a shiver run down his spine. "That? That's what caused you to try to end it all? You didn't even care about what you would've done to the people who loved you did you?"

Ed, who was staring at his scars with her this whole time, looked up as he felt a droplet of water hit his flesh. Winry was crying. Because of him. "Winry?" 

What are you looking for?  
What are you waiting for?  
Do you know what you're doing to me?  
Go ahead...what are you waiting for?

Hold on...if you feel like letting go  
Hold on...it gets better than you know

The girl was silent. "I'm sorry Winry," Ed said as he lifted her chin. "It won't happen again."

Tears continued to fall down Winry's cheeks, as she asked, "How do I know that's the truth?"

Ed wiped the tears away with his finger, then slowly brought his face closer to Winry's. _  
Don't stop looking you're one step closer  
Don't stop searching it's not over..._

"I love you," he whispered just before he pressed his lips softly to hers. Then he pulled away and looked into her eyes. She questioned him with a glance. "Before, I had no reason to live, but now...I have a reason. "

"What's that?"

"You. _You_ are my reason to live," he said and pulled her close for a deep, passionate kiss. _  
Hold on...if you feel like letting go  
Hold on...it gets better than you know...hold on _

Ed lay on his back on the grass, running his fingers through Winry's hair. He sighed. "You're so strong...Stronger than me..." he said.

Winry half-sat up to look at him questioningly. "How so?"

Ed smiled. "You're right, you've been through so much more than me. And you've never done anything. You've just faced the pain head-on. That's strength."

Winry lay back down, resting her head again on the boy's chest. "You're wrong about that...You've had way more pain than I have. But you know, Al doesn't hate you like you think. You're his brother, and he still loves you."

"Then why...?"

"He was scared. He spent four years of his life having no feeling, and suddenly all of it came rushing back to him at once. He freaked out, and afterwards he was to afraid to talk to you about it..."

"Oh... I'll talk to him."

"I know you will. He's coming up this weekend."

"Hey! You can't plan my life out for me!"

"Sure I can..."

Ed growled, and Winry chuckled. After a while, things settled down again and Winry sighed. "You know, there's only one difference between us, is that's that I never gave up. I've always had a reason to live."

"What's that?"

Winry smiled and looked up at Ed. "You," she said definitely.

Ed smiled back at her. "I love you." he said, and kissed her. Winry smiled against his kiss, and both of them knew that this was why they were meant to be. Why they existed... This was the real thing, the reason people were put on this earth. This was love.

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So what do ya think? I think the re-write turned out better than the original... R&R!!!


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